Well now it's time for all of you to know how I'm really holding up here. The secret's out!
I'm sure you've all been sitting at the edge of your seats for this! It's not like you've read or heard several other testimonies like this over the past two years that your other friends wrote when they were abroad! However, I think that now it is important to discuss some of the feelings and emotions that have been stirring about over here.
Between the weekend trip adventures to different countries across Europe, I would like to confirm that we actually DO have class every weekday from 3pm to around 6:15pm, unless it's Tuesday- then it's movie night and we typically watch films that make you want to rip your heart and mind out. You see, there seems to be a running theme here that European movies are significantly different than our good old American classics that we're all used to. Czech students and even more professors have queued us in on the realities of unhappy endings in Europe as opposed to our 'he always gets the girl' or 'the dog lived' outcomes that make all of us back home feel good! So far we've watched an American western parody (that was just a hoot and a half), along with two movies about wartimes here in the Czech Republic. I don't know if it is the quality of the movie's actors, or the fact that I am physically here in the place where it all happened, but these movies tear me apart inside and nearly seem to kill me near the end. It's so very surreal to me now, because I absorb the scenes we watch, look outside the window I sit next to, and can almost watch it all play out in the streets of Olomouc, eerily. I've discussed it with a few other students already, but I think I'll say it again. Back home we only learn about what happened in the past from someone who didn't live through say, the communist regime- someone who has only read about it from thousands of miles away is teaching us about what happened in Europe a very short time ago. We students then take that information that we've filled our notebooks with, and only revisit the past when we have an upcoming test in order to regurgitate what we learned, and then forget nearly all of it once the test is over. We don't have any idea what it's like to live as many Europeans once did years ago! The films that we have watched are only small doses of what we might be able to possibly comprehend about the horrors that took place in the very streets and establishments we walk by every single day. Our dorms are built upon old Russian army barracks for crying out loud when communism wiped through this nation! It is so very eerie to refer back to the films and think about what it might have been like to live during Nazi or Communist eras here in Europe, it truly terrifies me to my very core.
Previously throughout our first few days here in Olomouc, we had two very wise professors lecture to us about Olomouc and then the idea of Europe. They were both phenomenal lecturers, but the latter explained to us the differences between European and American demeanors today which might help us understand the differences in the cinematography here vs. in the U.S. You see, many of us Americans have this feeling that has been instilled in us that pushes us to look towards the future, expecting something bigger and better that we might earn if we work hard enough... sound familiar? The American dream is something that the Europeans can't quite parallel. It's evident that many might seem pessimistic, and if you take a look at their history then you can understand why. To put it in layman's terms, they had all this muck that they had to fight through (Nazis) and finally after their defeat, the communists rolled through with their crap and it really just seems that the Europeans couldn't catch a break. History has a huge influence on how people think today, and if you don't believe me- need I talk about America and its race relations? As another professor said, you can rather quickly change the political system that might benefit the people, but it is harder for the people's minds to heal and change at the same pace as the politics for you can not change a memory.
One of the movies we watched was
Anthropoid, where we learned about the Czech paratroopers who worked in cooperation with the English to assassinate Reinhard Heydrich - one of the highest ranking Nazi's who had taken residence and control over Prague in addition to making Czech citizens lives hell. Here are a few pictures from Prague where we visited the historical sites regarding operation Anthropoid. The movie was very difficult for me to watch, and in the end I had to lay my head down for the remainder of it. In regards to the reality of what happened - two of the trained paratroopers were locked and loaded, one with a not so great quality gun that I don't know the name of because I'm not a gun enthusiast, and the other with a hand bomb. As the soldier with the gun jumped out in front of Heydrich's car, the gun malfunctioned and he had to make a quick getaway, meanwhile a second soldier hurled a hand bomb towards the car and it didn't reach the sweet spot that would have been ideal to have assassinated Heydrich first and foremost. What killed Heydrich were the internal parts from the car seat cushion that lodged into his back, which proved to be fatal later on. As retaliation for this act, the Nazi's killed thousands of innocent Czech civilians. On the right is a memorial in remembrance of those who were murdered.
It is so very hard to be a history nut and not be able to continue rattling off about everything I have learned so far, everything I wrote above, and all that I want to continue to write! I feel as if I am not doing history and those who lived it justice, but for your sake, I'll move on to discussing a bit more of the realities that I have had to face here that are non-historical.
I would be lying to you if I said that everything has been peaches and cream for me thus far in this Slavic country. I've struggled with culture shock, I DON'T UNDERSTAND CZECH, I feel completely incompetent in many situations and I am beginning to tire from relying on others to get me from point A to point B. I have complained and cried to poor Zach about every little thing that seems to put me in an unshakable funk until our weekend excursions. (Zach if you're reading this I hope you still like me by the end of this trip!) I have come to terms with the fact that I can't visit everywhere in Europe, and all of my plans that I made in the U.S. prior have changed while I was over here due to unforeseen circumstances that showed themselves simply because I am a novice planner & traveler. Don't get me started on having to pay for a bathroom every time I turn around, in Sweden I started raising my voice in a McDonald's and had a minor melt-down while Zach dragged me out of there. Nature calls when nature calls, what can you do about that?!
There are hundreds of other little things that irk me in ways that they shouldn't, so I just bottle them up until my internal frustrations become evidently external and my roommate PK asks if I'm okay every other day. I am so sad to admit to this but yeah, I'm having a difficult time over here, I miss my family, friends & coworkers, and everyone and everything about the Catholic Newman center at UNK!
During the periods of time that I have had to think about all of these frustrations, expectations, and realities, I am slowly beginning to discover a few things regarding the importance that I personally stress between myself and my surroundings. As many of you know, my heart belongs to Mexico. (Don't roll your eyes here, keep reading) So naturally, every time I go there I'm on cloud nine. It is a completely foreign country in comparison to the U.S. in ways that I'm not going to get into right here right now. So I had anticipated something similar I think, when I signed up to study abroad. I thought that I would thrive in foreign surroundings- but the Czech Republic is not Mexico and not the United States. I had zero connections to anything of or related to the Czech, which leads me to believe that my surroundings are important in making me feel comfortable and quite frankly, happy. Since I came into this country knowing zilch, I'm struggling on trying to make this place a 'home'. I also have this great fear that I will go back home with a less wholesome experience than the groups before me had made.
However, yesterday and today have been two beautifully sunny warm days and yowzas did that lift my spirits! The cold and wet climates here have taken a toll on my demeanor for sure, and I was in great need of some vitamin D! So here's the dealio. I decided yesterday and today, that I am going to quit thinking about the groups who did this whole study abroad thing before me, and I'm going to dwell on my own experiences, and make this trip mine. I am going to learn how to get around on public transportation here on my own, (starting with the Olomouc city tram... baby steps!) I have accepted that plans A, B, C, and D might not work, rather E, and F have potential and will have to do. When things change on the whim here as they often do, I'm just going to roll with it and not get hung up on what could have been and make the most of what already is. All of this negativity that I had begun to harvest and bottle up in March is going out the window, because I'll be the first to say that it is completely not worth it to be crabby and pretentious. Zach said it best when he said, "We're here for a good time, not a long time."
As for not knowing the language and communicating in charades, I just have to work three times as hard to be able to at least master the basic lingo to get my basic needs across. The little things that seem to incessantly bother me that include the many small differences between here and anywhere else that I've ever been need to be acknowledged but not dwelled upon. Living here is different, but it is important to understand that different is not always bad. I have learned a lot in this first month here, and I am excited to continue adventuring in this completely foreign setting that God has placed me in.
The original plans that I had previously established were that I was going to visit Fatima in Portugal, and then hop over to Spain to see what all of the buzz was about! However logistically and economically with the cities I wanted to visit given the time frame that we had, it didn't look like it was going to work out all that well. However, in the end it all worked out because one of my good friends Catiana decided that she was going to fly to Rome and spend a few weeks here in Europe... so it very conveniently worked out that we would explore Rome and then Portugal together! Zachary and I decided we would travel together to Barcelona, Madrid, and then Paris for our spring break, and I am very glad that we did because we had a phenomenal time traveling on our own! He even let me interpret and translate for him in Spain, which I must add that it was quite refreshing to finally be surrounded by a language I grew up with. Right before embarking on this what seemed like a one week date, (yikes, right?) we stopped and prayed rosaries together in a Marian chapel in Venice- which might be the reason as to why and how we didn't kill each other after being together 24/7. Shortly after, we were off on a plane to Barcelona with some of the worst turbulence I've experienced yet on this trip, which Zach slept right through meanwhile I contemplated the meaning of my life and begged God to steady the plane!
We arrived in Barcelona around 12am and spent the night in terminal 3 until roughly 11am along with everyone else in that airport it seemed. Zach and I also had the privilege of planning to run into our dear friend Laura Hawk, who is currently studying abroad through the Ireland program, and it had never felt so good to run into one of her big warm hugs!
Over the course of the next four days in Catalunya, we relaxed on the chilly shores of the Barcelona beach while we hunted for seashells and cool looking rocks- riveting I know. We walked up and down Las Ramblas street which leads into the Gothic Quarter, and explored that while we casually ran into the Barcelona Cathedral, government buildings, the national historic archives for the region, and an Antoni Gaudi museum! On a free walking tour it was explained to us that the Gothic Quarter was actually rebuilt to look even more gothic as a means to draw in more tourists and get the city on the map. Our guide showed us pictures of what the Barcelona Cathedral looked like prior to the architectural additions, and it's a stark difference compared to what it looked like before! 
I can not wait to go back to Madrid after I brush up on my Spanish history, but for now I'm going to move onto Paris, which I must admit I had not even prioritized as a potential city that I would visit on this trip simply because it seems so overrated. WOW I WAS CLEARLY MISTAKEN. Obviously the Eiffel tower was my favorite, AND we saw so many dogs that were the same breed as mine back home which only made me happier! The French had delicious crepes, great taste in dog breeds, pretty architecture, but the worst smelling metro we've experienced yet. Minus the latter, France was a blast just as well!
